


Transformation

by kinsale_42



Series: Khadgar - Adult Content [3]
Category: World of Warcraft
Genre: Gender or Sex Swap, Love, Love Triangles, M/M, Rough Sex, Shapeshifting, Telepathic Bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-18
Updated: 2016-12-18
Packaged: 2018-09-09 11:24:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8888953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kinsale_42/pseuds/kinsale_42
Summary: Khadgar finally feels brave enough to tell his mate, Kinsale, about certain unconventional activities he engaged in before they met. With her support, he seeks out his friend Kalec to discuss the situation. The active telepathic link that Khadgar and Kinsale share adds a new layer to what lies between Khadgar and Kalec, and leads to an interesting question that needs some careful investigation.





	

"I need to tell you about something," Khadgar began. He'd thought about how to have this conversation for days, and none of the imaginary dialogues he'd gone through in his head seemed any better than any other.

Kinsale looked up at him from her chair by the fire, continuing to stroke the tiny white kitten curled in her lap. This was the most relaxed and comfortable she'd seemed in ages, and Khadgar hoped he wasn't about to ruin it all with his confession.

He took a deep breath. "It's about Kalec...and I...and...er..."

"And he's in love with you," Kinsale finished for him. 

Khadgar's brows drew together and he looked perplexed. "That's not what I was going to say. What do you mean, he's in love with me?"

"Isn't he? He shows all the signs. I know the symptoms, I suffered them long enough."

"Suffered? But...wait, not me." Khadgar realized what she must have meant. "Bolvar?"

"Yes. There's something about being in love with someone you think you're not supposed to be in love with. I've seen Kalec do some of the same things I used to do. And when you catch him in an unguarded moment... I never realized it but I probably gave myself away too." Kinsale really thought it was rather sweet. But then, she couldn't understand why more people weren't in love with Khadgar. "So what were you going to say, then?"

"Oh! Um, well, that we're pretty close, and er, there have been times when we have...well, shared certain things..." His hand went to his face and he appeared to be trying to massage his brain into forming complete sentences through his forehead. It didn't work.

Kinsale tried to hide a grin at his discomfiture. Sometimes he was too damn adorable for his own good. She thought she knew what he was trying to say. She knew what he had been like and what he had needed from her after his recent nightmare, and she knew that Kalec knew about the nightmares and had been present for more than a few. Putting these facts together suggested a very clear picture to her, one that fell easily in line with her idea that Kalec was in love with her mate.

"You've been intimate?" she asked as gently as she could.

He seized on her simplification of the situation. "Yes! Exactly." Then, suddenly horrified at how easily he'd just admitted what he'd been trying to discreetly explain, his eyes grew wide. Khadgar unconsciously held his breath as he waited for her reaction.

"I thought you might have been," she said calmly, while gently scritching the kitten under the chin. "Does it bother you? Or is there something about it you wanted to discuss?"

He shook his head, and collapsed into the chair opposite her. How was this all so much easier than he'd expected? Most folk in Azeroth didn't look upon same-gender intimacy in a particularly kindly fashion, or they just looked the other way and pretended it didn't exist. And here was his soul mate, quietly accepting it all as if it were totally ordinary.

"But you think he's in love with me?" He was still a little skeptical about this. Kalec had always offered quite sensible reasons for being willing to share what he did. And while Khadgar was willing to admit that he found Kalec quite attractive and their handful of encounters had been pleasurable, he'd never felt more than a warm affection for his generous friend. He'd always assumed Kalec felt the same. There had been little reason to think otherwise.

Kinsale watched as Khadgar mentally reviewed the evidence. She recognized the expression on his face, and the movement of his eyes.

"Yes," she answered. "And if he needs you, or you need him, you should feel free to act as you see fit." He looked up at her then, awed by her generosity of spirit. She smiled. "I have a pretty good idea how you feel about me, and I doubt that it will change as a result of your caring for your friend. Your heart is too big and too open for one person to hold." She sighed softly to herself. "I wish I was better at showing you how much I care about you. Some days I just seem to have no patience at all."

Khadgar leaned forward and put his hand on her knee. "You just proved every ounce of kindness and unselfishness that I knew you possessed, and then some. Don't ever feel bad about lacking patience. It only happens when you're tired, and we all get tired."

The kitten stretched then, sticking its tiny paws out in front of its body. Kinsale yelped as the needle-like claws stuck into her leg. The startled kitten jumped down and scampered across the room, and they laughed at it.

His face growing serious once more, Khadgar said, "I don't know how I would feel about...being intimate with Kalec now. I don't want to treat you with any disrespect or betray you in any way."

Kinsale slid forward in her chair and reached across to touch his face. "I appreciate that. But when a dragon makes his choice, who are we to argue? His lifetime is so much longer than ours, and he is so kind, I can see no reason not to share in our happiness if we can." Her head tilted slightly to the side as their gaze intensified. "And you, too, deserve all the happiness for which you have waited far too long."

He took her hand and pulled her over into his lap, where they twined their arms about each other and engaged in a lengthy kiss.

***

The shade was deep around Azurewing Repose, but the glow of the ley pool was more than enough to light the entire refuge, setting all the nearby dragonscales to sparkling. Kalec had been spending a lot of time there, at the side of the great dragon, Senegos. Khadgar had not had to try very hard to find him.

They walked together up to a small overlook just off the road, discussing the latest news and random trivial events. When they reached the spot where they could look down over the ley pool and Senegos' recumbent form, Khadgar paused. Kalec waited. He knew that if Khadgar came down here himself, there was something other than small talk on his mind.

Khadgar turned his head and looked at his friend's profile for a long moment before speaking. It was almost like seeing him for the first time. "Kalec. Why did you never tell me that you cared?" His voice was kind.

Kalec had to admit that he was surprised at this. He had thought he was safe, that he had contained himself and his emotions well enough that they would remain undetected by others, especially Khadgar himself, until they had faded into the nether, as was the way of such things. He considered for the space of a few breaths how he should reply to such a question. Knowing too well who he was dealing with, he decided the absolute truth was the only option.

He turned to regard Khadgar with a steady gaze as he replied, "At first I didn't understand what was happening, and by the time I did, it was clear enough to me that you didn't feel the same. And I would not burden you with weight you do not need to carry. You have enough of your own."

"And then," Kalec continued, "there was a certain paladin that stepped into your world, and I saw what love was for you. I saw you love her like I loved--still love--Anveena. There are no timelines in which I would seek to change that for anyone, especially not for you."

A wave of compassion and tenderness rolled over Khadgar. Kalec had given so much of himself and expected no consideration for it. He had been there to pull Khadgar back from the brink of despair more than a handful of times, had willingly and voluntarily imbued Khadgar with his own draconic life force in order to strengthen him in a time of great need. Khadgar had been more than grateful but had not questioned Kalec's rational explanations for his actions.

Now, as he looked into those blue-violet eyes, eyes that shone like stars when alive with passion, he was touched somewhere deep inside. Maybe he cared more than he thought about this dragon in a half-elven shape. He thought back over Kinsale's encouragement, words that had sounded commonplace but felt like a blessing. Khadgar reached out and touched Kalec's arm. "If there is ever anything you need of me, I will be here for you. Anything."

"But Kinsale...?" Kalec left the question unfinished.

"Has let me know that she has no desire to come between you and I, whatever we share. She has a rather thorough understanding of the situation, and trusts us implicitly. It was, in fact, Kinsale that alerted me to your...er...condition." Had they moved closer? Khadgar felt like they were standing closer than they had been. He was feeling rather warm. And those violet eyes, the angled cheekbones of Kalec's face, the finely-crafted lips... Khadgar was falling prey to desire without any inciting event. Before it had been either Kalec who initiated or Khadgar's own fierce need for comfort. But this fire had started spontaneously.

Kalec saw his friend's face change, and correctly interpreted what it signified. In the blink of an eye, they were in Kalec's private quarters in Dalaran, where he trusted the wards that kept them secure and blocked all noise from being heard from without. With Khadgar, the latter tended to be a necessity.

Khadgar took Kalec's face in both his hands and kissed him, full and hard, until they were both gulping for air. Then fingers were tearing at laces and clothing was coming off rapidly. Khadgar felt like he was experiencing everything anew, the smoothness of Kalec's skin, the strange simultaneous warmth and chill of his breath, the solid muscles that coiled and shifted in ways that suggested dragon more than elf or human.

He realized that in at least one way, it was a new experience. This was the first time he had been with Kalec since he and Kinsale had found each other. And, he thought, she was experiencing it all too, because he hadn't even attempted to shield their link. He didn't even spare more than a moment's thought for it now, either, and left it intentionally wide open. She would understand and figure out how to manage it.

Khadgar pulled Kalec on top of him as they fell back onto the elegantly draped bed, their faces close, Kalec moving in for another kiss and Khadgar rising up to meet him. Kalec felt for the first time that this was for him, that Khadgar was seeking to please him. His erection grew firmer, and he gasped when it brushed against Khadgar's. There were warm hands, Khadgar's hands, squeezing and massaging his behind. Kalec lowered himself from his knees, rubbing his erect shaft into the softness of Khadgar's belly, and groaning at how sensitive it had become.

Breathing heavily himself, Khadgar rolled Kalec onto his back, and drew runes with his tongue all the way down his torso. The final rune landed with an explosion of dizzying sensation on the very tip of Kalec's penis, and Khadgar hesitated just an instant to let the spell he had crafted take effect before he dove in to wrap Kalec in the warm depths of his mouth and tongue. Kalec was now tingling all over, and each time Khadgar slid forward to consume him, he was lifted to another plane, and another, and another. He surrendered to it, let himself be caught up and carried away. He felt one of Khadgar's fingers slip inside him, probing for the delicate spot that would drive him wild. It didn't take long to find, and Kalec had to restrain himself from bucking into the air in response, so as not to injure his friend.

Sensing he'd got the response he wanted, and without letting Kalec climax, Khadgar rolled back over and pulled Kalec atop him again, holding his legs aside so that Kalec could enter him, which he did, with a long sigh of pleasure. Kalec was high on the arcane spell Khadgar had woven, and high on the love Khadgar had shown him, and Khadgar was warm and glowing as if lit up by the Light itself. Perhaps he was, Kalec was just a bit too delirious to be able to tell for sure. He kept thrusting rhythmically, seeking his depth within his human companion, watching his blue eyes blaze. Kalec stroked Khadgar's rigid cock in time with his own thrusts, and felt it pulse and quiver in his hand with each caress. 

And then Khadgar could no longer hold back, and exploded into ecstasy, crying out in a beautiful expression of joy as he always did. His spasms sent Kalec over the edge into a fluttering drift of exquisite sensation that rocked his entire body, even to the tips of his wings and tail, though they were magically tucked away within his humanoid form. He was not normally one to vocalize his pleasure, but this time he joined his partner with a spontaneous expression of bliss.

Khadgar got Kalec under the covers and cleaned himself up a bit before joining him. He knew sleep was near for them both, but he wanted to spend those last waking moments wrapped together as he would have with Kinsale. As he drifted into an exhausted but exultant slumber, he thought he could feel her rejoicing with him.

***

Kinsale was at her desk in her new, larger quarters, going over Silver Hand mission reports when she felt the first blossoming of desire within her. She recognized it immediately as Khadgar's, for she had felt it many times before. For the first time, however, he was not with her, or apparently thinking of her. She knew he was with Kalec. And she knew how easily he was roused where affections were already firmly in place.

When the second rush hit her, she got up and locked the door, returning to settle into a comfortable chair near the fire. Their communication channel was open most of the time, permitting an automatic flow of consciousness between them. Specific ideas or images still required focus on the sender's part, and it was still possible to shield or block thoughts or feelings from each other. Khadgar was not shielding anything he experienced right now, and Kinsale was prepared to accept whatever he wished to share.

She had experienced their own lovemaking through his perceptions, as he had through hers, and she was admittedly a little curious about how he felt with Kalec. Sensing that she was about to find out, she relaxed as best she could and opened her mind to her lover's adventures with the dragon in half-elf form. 

It was a very different experience to witnessing a vision. It was more like feeling a vision with other senses than sight. Kinsale felt the impact of the first intense kiss with a jolt that woke her own body to arousal. She felt Kalec's skin with her own fingers, his body as if it were pressed against hers, not Khadgar's. She felt a momentary dispacement as they shifted into a horizontal orientation from a vertical one, and moaned softly as Kalec's hips ground into Khadgar's.

She tasted the smooth silk of Kalec's chest as Khadgar traced runes across it. The runes glowed behind her closed eyes, and with the surge of arcane energy that accompanied the final rune, the spell was seared into her memory. Her mouth watered as she felt Khadgar take Kalec into his own, consuming him, devouring him, bringing him to what even she could tell was the edge of ecstasy, before Khadgar rolled over and offered his body to his lover.

Kinsale's breath was taken away as Kalec entered Khadgar, and she felt his urgent caresses pulling them both towards orgasm. Another low moan escaped her as she was lifted by the rising tide of Khadgar's pleasure. She shook as he ejaculated, her body responding just as explosively. Kalec's release seared through them both, prolonging the rapture for both Khadgar and Kinsale, as one.

Kinsale reveled in the same afterglow that Kalec and Khadgar shared where they lay together in Kalec's chamber. She felt no shame or regret for urging her partner to continue to share intimacy with his friend as they desired it, and none for vicariously experiencing it herself. She and her lover shared many blessings, and the affection of a blue dragon was not the least. Thinking of Khadgar now, she was filled with joy, knowing his heart was just as big as she had believed. In her mind, she wrapped him up in that jubilation and felt his warmth surround her even as he faded into sleep.

***

When Khadgar awoke a few hours later, dusk had become late evening in Dalaran. He felt Kalec stir against him as though drawn from sleep by the same force that had roused him. His mind slowly cleared the last cobwebs from its corners and he wondered anew at the parts of him that had sprung to life over the past few years, after twenty spent in virtual seclusion in Outland. When he'd been very young, he had shunned physical pleasures in favor of the quest for knowledge, and then when his youth had been stolen he mourned for the joys he feared he would never know. And at last, when he had given up hope, through the benevolence of a dragon and a series of apparent coincidences that he was fairly certain weren't coincidence, but a result of na'aru engineering, he had regained not only some of his youth but also all the love and pleasure he had ever imagined. 

He pulled Kalec's warm, relaxed body a little closer to his, resting his cheek against the loose blue waves of his friend's hair. Khadgar felt full, complete, and yet...there was a pull, a need that he felt, a sense that he wanted to be somewhere else.

Kalec wrapped his arm around Khadgar's and squeezed it gently. Then, slipping out of the embrace, he turned to face the human for whom he cared so much. "You should go back to Kinsale. She waits for you," he said very quietly. His violet eyes were faintly luminous in the shadows of the chamber. "Yes, I love you, Khadgar. It surprises me as much as it surprises you. But she is your true mate, and she gives you happiness. I see it." Very lightly, Kalec kissed Khadgar, releasing him to return to the outside world. Khadgar slipped out of the bed and began to gather his clothes. Kalec lay still, watching his friend as he dressed. 

When he had finished, Khadgar sat on the edge of the bed and took Kalec's hand in both of his. His blue eyes met and held the dragon's violet ones. "Kalec, friend,whenever you need me, call. I mean it. I would give of myself willingly." He turned Kalec's hand over and kissed the open palm before folding the fingers over it and gently laying it back down. Kalec said nothing, but his acceptance was plain to read on his face, and the soft smile that crossed it stayed with Khadgar as he teleported out of the room.

When he arrived in Kinsale's quarters, Khadgar landed in the bedroom, half-expecting to find her there, asleep already, though it was not yet late. But there was no sign she had even touched the blankets on the large bed they shared most nights. He went out into the big room, where she did her work, and found her dozing in one of the chairs by a dwindling fire. He quickly refreshed the fire with some additional fuel and a bit of magical incentive.

He sat on the edge of the opposite chair and looked at her affectionately, taking in the flush of her cheeks and the rumpled state of her clothing. She must have sensed him there before her, because her eyes opened and she started awake. Kinsale smiled when she saw him, not surprised at all to find him there. He slid out of the chair onto his knees in front of her chair and pulled her to its edge, hugging her tightly. "Ahhh, I love you so," he whispered in her ear.

She held him as he held her, and responded, "And I, you. Always." She ran her hand up the back of his neck and into his hair as he laid his head down on her shoulder. After a minute or two, Khadgar lifted his head and leaned back slightly to see her face.

"Did you accept my invitation?" he asked her. When she smiled, he answered his own question. "You did! I thought you did, but I wasn't sure. I didn't feel you there until afterwards."

"It was an incredible experience. I am glad you shared." Kinsale crossed the few inches that separated them to kiss him gently. She suddenly remembered some of the dream she had been having when she woke to find him watching her. 

"Khadgar. Is there a way, using an illusion perhaps, or something like it, that I could do that kind of thing with you too? I know that what we usually share is very good and we that we both enjoy it, but I am just a little curious...You seemed to enjoy Kalec very much too, and it was different. It would be interesting to try it out, perhaps?" Kinsale actually blushed slightly as she asked, but her voice didn't waver. 

Khadgar's eyebrows shot up briefly in surprise, but the idea was enticing and it seemed like it could be easily done. In fact, something in the back of his memory suggested that he had overheard something of the sort going on from his student days in Dalaran, when he was so fascinated by all sorts of goings on that he was often to be found lingering near locked doors and trying to peer into sealed messages. He had no nefarious purpose, of course, merely a desire to understand the workings of the people and the world around him.

And now Kinsale wanted to try on a man's form for the same sort of truth-seeking, with the added goal of shared pleasure. How could he resist that? It was also truth that he had been attracted to both men and women for as long as he could remember, though the long years of self-imposed celibacy he'd suffered to avoid rejection and ridicule meant that he'd never been able to experiment. Ultimately, he felt the body didn't matter to him as much as the person. Only now, in these last years since Kalec had come to him in Shattrath, did he at last feel able to act upon his desires. And he was very curious himself, now that she had suggested it, about what she might be like in a masculine form.

"Yes, I think things like that have been done long before now. And I would offer to create the illusion for you, but I rather think I might over-influence the outcome with my own wishes, and I would prefer to see what your wishes would be. I also would not mind the surprise." His eyes were twinkling, already anticipating fun. 

"So who would help me, then?" Kinsale asked. "Kalec?" He seemed the most obvious choice, as entangled as he was already with their relationship. "I wouldn't want him to think I'm trying to take his place with you."

Khadgar thought about that for a moment. Kalec had been his first thought as well, but Kinsale's reason for hesitancy hadn't even occurred to him. He was a bit clumsy with emotions sometimes still, and didn't always completely consider implications and repercussions, though he tried. "We will go to him together and ask. I doubt he will mind, but you are right, we would do well to try for kindness. And I can assure him that he will always have his place."

He renewed his embrace of Kinsale, and told her,"We will speak with him soon." She rubbed her cheek against his and smiled.

***

A few days later, Kalec was again at his post in Azurewing Repose, this time tending to some whelplings that had been injured in a confrontation with some withered elves. Khadgar and Kinsale landed their sturdy gryphon far enough away to not spook the infant dragons, and joined their friend where he worked.

"Can I help?" Kinsale asked. "I can provide some healing."

Kalec smiled. "That would be very kind, thank you." Kinsale's hands began to glow as she gathered the healing power of the Light to her and bathed the wounded whelplings in its warm radiance. They responded well to the treatment, and soon there was a cloud of tiny sparkling azure bodies fluttering around her. "I think they like you," Kalec told her, laughing.

Khadgar had been watching them both work in an abstracted way, and now he smiled too. Two different creatures, and he was terribly fond of them both. It occurred to him now that if anything unforeseen were to happen to him, perhaps they could find comfort in each other. He hoped they would.

The healers finished as the last tiny dragon leapt into the air, and the cloud of whelplings drifted off together towards their father, encircling his great aged head and eliciting a rumble of pleasure from the broad chest.

"Friends, what can I do for you? I assume you didn't travel out here solely to assist me with tending to my flight." Kalec stood from where he had been kneeling in the grass, and looked at each of his visitors. They looked at each other and seemed to decide something. 

Khadgar spoke. "We were hoping you might assist us with a little transformative magic."

"I see," replied Kalec. "Something you cannot manage alone? It must be significant."

"Not really. You see, well..." Khadgar wasn't sure where to start.

Kinsale took over. "He wants it to be a surprise, and to not have manipulated it himself to his own wishes. I want a sort of costume..." She looked around. "Perhaps there's somewhere we could speak more privately?"

Kalec began to get an inkling of what this was about. "Of course. Dalaran?" He summoned a portal before Khadgar could lift a finger. Kinsale signaled for the gryphon to return to its post. The three of them stepped through the portal to find themselves in Kalec's personal study, situated somewhere in the tower of Violet Citadel. He gestured for them to sit and make themselves comfortable. They did.

"Kalec, we were wondering if you could create an illusion that I could wear for some...private role playing." Kinsale still felt awkward speaking explicitly to Kalec. She knew he was intimately familiar with her partner, and she now had an idea of what that was like, but she had not become even close friends with him personally yet. She didn't realize how favorably disposed he was toward her at that moment, having just healed many of his young kin, dragons of a last generation.

Kalec nodded. "I think I understand." He looked at Khadgar. "And you'd like it to be a surprise?"

"Yes, and I'd like it to be an expression of Kinsale's ideas, not my own. I am afraid my own desires would be too powerful of an influence, and that you would be more objective. Not to mention tactful." He suppressed a grin, remembering all the things they had done together that had never come back to his ears from any other source. 

"Well, then I think Kinsale and I have details to discuss. We'll let you know if we need you."

Khadgar stood up, smiled at his friend and winked at his partner, and instantly teleported out of the room.

"Now, what sort of illusion were you interested in? Please, speak freely, friend. You are welcome here." Kalec was curious and growing more so by the minute.

Kinsale drew a breath, steadied her nerve as though she were about to charge into battle, and told him in the simplest possible way. "I want to be a man."

His eyebrow lifted in a graceful blue arch. Then it returned to its normal habitat, and he spoke again, his voice somehow softer. "You were there, weren't you? When Khadgar came to me?"

"Yes, and I know how wonderful you made him feel. I...I just want to know what you felt like, what it was like to go with him to those places. I don't want you to think I'm trying to replace you, or distract him from you. I honestly believe you and he have something beautiful that I don't want to see destroyed. I don't want to be a dragon in the shape of a man, I just want to be a man." Another thought came to mind that had not presented itself before. "And if I can be one for him, even just once, then he would know how you feel too, in a way, because he would know through me."

Kalec would have done it without question because she wanted it. Now that he saw that Khadgar would gain an understanding of what it was like from Kalec's perspective, he wanted it too. "Yes, of course I will help you." He pondered for a moment. "But I think an illusion will not be the right approach to take."

"What do you suggest, then?" Kinsale asked him.

"I think a shapeshift would be more effective. You see, an illusion simply disguises you visually. The illusion you wear in Suramar seems to be a version of yourself because generally the form matches your own. But if you were to put on an illusion of another gender, or another type of creature, your own body would still be behind it, and all its parts and senses would still be those of your true form." He paused to let her consider. "Now a shapeshift moves you into the form of another type of being. As a half-elf, I have all the functions and abilities of a half-elf. When I change into my dragon form, I have all the functions and abilities of a dragon. You see?"

Kinsale nodded slowly. "But is that a spell you can cast on me? I thought it was an ability only certain beings naturally possessed or were able to be trained in."

"That's the only challenge," he replied. "But I think I have a solution, if you agree to it. You have a means to deal with a headache?"

Confused at the seemingly odd shift in the conversation, she said, "Yes...do you have a headache?" Her hand automatically began to glow.

"Ah, no, no." He stopped her from casting any heals on him. "But you will. I can bundle up the knowledge of the shapeshift ability and push it into your mind, and it will save weeks or months of intensive training. It is advantageous that you can treat any discomfort that may arise. Would this be acceptable to you? If you would prefer just to take a simple illusion, I can craft one of those instead."

She considered the options. She really wanted to be able to feel the different body and its responses, or the entire purpose would be nullified. She would neither know what it felt like for herself or be able to transmit any feedback to Khadgar. And with the war and her duties and obligations in general, she had no time for intensive study of anything. The only option that would allow her to try this experiment was the one that Kalec proposed. And if it was a permanent solution, what of it? That could be an advantage. Her face became resolute.

"Yes," Kinsale said, her voice firm. "I will agree to what you propose. I just have one question. How do we determine what I will shift into? I mean, what will I look like?"

Kalec was glad she was brave. It was not a dangerous procedure in the right hands, but many would have doubted the safety. In these times, though, some could see the value of taking small risks in order to live fully, for there was no guarantee of tomorrow. He answered her, "I will form the spell so that it transforms you into a human male. Was there something specific you wanted it to look like?"

"I want to look like what I would look like had I been born male." In a way, this was very specific yet also very undefined.

Kalec nodded. "That should not be difficult at all. I will see it done that way." Then he stood and gestured for her to do the same. He closed his eyes for a minute, visualizing the form of his spell. Then his hands began to move, and a small orb of blue-green light formed between them. It grew larger briefly and then shrank and condensed as he brought his hands together. The tiny orb disappeared into the palm of his hand, the only trace a blue-green radiance. He placed the palm of his hand on Kinsale's forehead and spoke a few words in a strange hissing language. It felt like she'd been struck by an electric charge, and the pain Kalec had warned her about echoed about her skull. He took his hand away and watched to see how she had taken the blow. She brought a flash of light to her own head and the pain and discomfort ebbed away.

"Now what do I...?" she began, but suddenly realized she knew what to do, and did it. Kinsale felt a brief shifting, wriggling sensation and then it was gone. She looked down at herself, and it was no longer the shape she was accustomed to seeing. She looked up at Kalec, whose blue-violet eyes were as wide as hers, and as wide as the smile on his face.

"That's very good!" He was quite pleased with the outcome, both of the implantation of knowledge and the physical form it had taken. "Let's get you to a mirror, and I will find you some better clothing." Kinsale's clothes had shifted size and shape with her, but they were still a more feminine style than seemed appropriate now. Kalec ported them both into his private chamber, apparently on another level yet of the Violet Citadel. Kinsale could never figure out just how many floors the tower had, or how one could figure out how to access them all. That was probably the point.

Kalec's room was decorated in shades of blue, from aquamarine to violet, and Kinsale was impressed by the simple elegance of the furnishings. Kalec walked over to the wardrobe and opened one tall, narrow door. On the inside of the door was a full-length glass, but before he let Kinsale look into it, he reached in and pulled out a shirt and some trousers and lifted down a tissue-wrapped rectangle from the top shelf, which was revealed later to be a new pair of undershorts. He set these on the dresser next to the wardrobe and stepped back from the mirror to allow Kinsale to see her transformed self.

She didn't feel any different. Her arms and legs still felt like hers, but now as she stepped in front of the glass she was taken over by a vague sense of displacement. Her hair was short and wavy, and chestnut, a shade or two darker than her natural auburn. Her jaw had become more prominent, her nose and brow stronger and straighter. Her body had lost its roundness, her shoulders had widened and squared off, her waist and hips had narrowed. But her eyes, those were still familiar. She looked over at Kalec, who was still appreciating the wonder that he had helped create.

"Would you like some privacy? I'm sure you'd like to investigate your new body." His eyebrow arched and his eyes twinkled.

Kinsale laughed and her face colored slightly. "No, actually...I would prefer you stayed and helped me verify that everything...that all is as it should be. If you don't mind?" Her voice startled her a little bit, though she knew it would be deeper. It had a richness to it, and a smoothness that reminded her of amber for some reason.

"It would be my pleasure," Kalec replied, and meant it. He was thinking that something in him must have changed those two years back when he had prepared his mind to give a part of himself to Khadgar. He had been concerned he wouldn't be able to go through with it then, but he had needed to do it, especially after the disappointment with Jaina, so he had put a lot of effort into finding Khadgar attractive enough for his body to respond as he required. And it had persisted, and he was surprised but reasoned that he had just attuned himself to one particular man. But now his body was responding to another male form, without preparation or intention. He wondered where it would lead him.

Kinsale removed her vest and began to unbutton her shirt. A short burst of laughter escaped her as she saw how her supportive undershirt was stretched and puckered across the muscles of her flatter chest. Kalec slipped behind her and helped her unfasten the row of hooks that held it in place. He slid the straps off the broad shoulders and garment fell forward into Kinsale's now larger, but still graceful, hands. She shivered as Kalec's fingers brushed her skin. 

"Well, at least my skin still has feeling," she told him, grinning at him in the mirror. This was far more exciting than she'd imagined. It was a great adventure already, and she hadn't even shown Khadgar yet. She examined how her well-trained muscles had grown in size and become more defined. She was still sleek, not knotty and bulging, but her strength was now more obvious than it had been. There was very little hair on her masculine chest, just a scattering between her pectoral muscles, and a dark line that began below her navel and trailed off beneath her remaining clothing.

"That's a very good sign," Kalec said, and tried to muffle a sigh as he imagined those long, shapely fingers of hers drifting across his own skin.

She was buoyed by the sense of physical power this new body was giving her, and it made her confidence swell. "Well, now let's see the interesting bit," she declared, and unfastened her pants and let them and her delicate feminine underpants fall to the floor. She recognized that her hips were narrower and her thighs more defined, but her attention was focused on the parts of this new shape that were clearly different. She was pleased. It looked right to her. "Kalec? Does it look okay to you?"

He stood at her side. Her new appendages looked perfectly alright to him. Did they work properly? "Everything looks good to me, but..." He ran his hand lightly down her abdomen and swirled a circle around her new testicles and relaxed penis. It reacted immediately, causing Kinsale to gasp.

"Oh!" The sensation that hit her was definitely new. Her eyes met Kalec's in the mirror. "That's what… That’s incredible. It really works." She felt physical desire begin to build within her, and then another wave came from outside her… Khadgar's. She laughed, an overflowing fountain of joy. "Khadgar felt you touch me," she told Kalec, smiling. Kinsale was so ecstatic, so thrilled at what she saw in the mirror, at the new sensations she experienced, she turned and threw her arms around Kalec and gave him a big squeeze.

He hesitated for just a second and then returned her embrace. His pulse had begun to race. The skin of her back was warm to the touch and he couldn't stop his hand from sliding down the trace of her spine over the curve of her muscular buttock. Her first erection was still firm and nudging him in the hollow of his hip. He pulled it closer instinctively.

Kinsale loosened her grip slightly and pulled back to gaze into Kalec's face. His eyes searched hers for approval. "May I help you learn to navigate this body?" he asked, his voice rougher than she had heard it before. She smiled again, softer this time, more intimate. She felt Khadgar's spirit surge again within her, encouraging her to accept this new adventure, wishing for it.

"I would be honored," she replied. Her face was at the same height as his now, her lips soft, her face open and inviting. He kissed her.

As his erection made itself known within his trousers, he realized there was one more spell he needed to teach her. "There's one more thing that will be useful for you to know, both for yourself and for Khadgar. It's a minor spell, a simple thing that all young mages learn very early in their training. Tapping Khadgar's power should give you plenty of energy to cast it. It's like a partial time-stop, something that allows an injured mage to survive until they can reach a healer. It affects the flow of blood and other fluids in the body, and somewhere someone discovered that it will delay sexual climax as well. Until you are used to this form, you will probably benefit from using it. And until Khadgar is used to this form, he probably will as well. You may wish to cast it on him preemptively, because he does tend to overestimate his own fortitude and won't use it himself." Abruptly he stopped speaking, as Kinsale shifted against him and his body throbbed in response. He kissed her again and stepped back.

Turning to the mirror, he traced his fingers on its surface and three glowing runes sprung to life in their wake. "Remember these. Reach into yourself to find Khadgar's strength, then draw these runes, in the air, in your mind, on his body, where ever works for you, and then focus the power into a fingertip, as you would with a healing spell. Touch the desired target, yourself or your partner, and feel the energy flow through you." He removed his tunic and shirt as he spoke and cast them aside. Offering his bare chest, he told her, "Try it."

Kinsale glanced once more at the runes, breathed deeply as she reached to draw upon Khadgar's spirit for assistance, and then accurately traced the runes with her finger on Kalec's muscular chest and firm abdomen. He felt the tingle of arcane energy as it left her hand. Success. 

Kalec cast the same spell on her, knowing she would need it far sooner than he would. "When the time is appropriate to do so, you simply reverse the order of the runes and cast in the same manner, and the natural flow of the body is restored." He pulled the handsome man before him back into his arms, his now bare chest sensitive to the feel of Kinsale's against it.

She felt slightly dizzy with arousal and anticipation, but suddenly another set of runes burned in her mind. She traced over them mentally and then touched a glowing finger to the small of Kalec's back. As the arcane intoxication shot through him, he gasped audibly. 

"Where did you learn that?!" he asked. "Did Khadgar teach you?" It burned with a heat unlike he'd felt before. He inhaled, drawing it in and through his body. He was lifted, whirling into a new space, full of light. It was the difference between a new moon and a full one. A starry night was beautiful, but the silvery cascade of moonlight bathed everything in splendor.

"I learned it when he cast it on you," she admitted. "I couldn't help it, the runes burned themseleves into my mind. Should I have not used it?" Kinsale looked at him, concerned that she had made an error in the casting.

His eyes were luminous as he returned her gaze. "You've just...you bolstered it with holy energy. It's..." He was having some difficulty finding the words. "It's _better_. Stronger but with more clarity." Kalec took her by the hips and pushed her back onto the low bed, and she submitted willingly. It was time to show her some things about her adopted form.

He loosened his trousers and let them fall to the floor before he joined her. Dragging his own erect penis along the contours of her muscled form, he lowered himself to meet her erection with open lips. Kinsale groaned as his tongue slid along the length of it and then wound rings back up to the sensitive tip. She bit back a cry as she felt this unfamilar organ dive into his throat, slide out, and then dive in again. The time-stop spell had already earned its place; she would have climaxed almost instantly without it.

And still she could feel Khadgar's arousal and anticipation flowing through her, and it was as if she were being drenched in erotic sensation from within as much as without. She didn't even need the spell of intoxication. Kalec was continuing to engulf her with his mouth, each plunge more exquisite than the one before.

Then he pulled away at last, breathless, saying,"Take me, as you would take him. Show me how you will love him."

Kinsale brought him up to be level with her once more, and kissed him deeply. Instinctively she reached out with her spirit as she would have with Khadgar, and it found Kalec's, but it was as though it was behind a wall of thick glass. His mind already spinning with magic and desire, Kalec felt her touch his soul like a barely perceptible whisper. He tried to listen more closely, but the connection wasn't there. She continued to be present, but always just out of reach.

When they came up for air, Kalec remembered one more thing that could aid his friends in their pursuit of ecstasy, and called a tiny jar with a tight-fitting lid to his hand. Handing it to Kinsale, "Use this to smooth things along where you need it." Rolling on to her back again, she opened the jar and observed the buttery substance inside. It smelled slightly sweet. She touched it, and it was creamy and smooth, and stayed slippery on her fingers. She looked at Kalec and grinned. She was ready.

Kinsale pushed him over onto his belly, and after applying a daub of the cream to herself, she lowered herself on top of him, nudging his knees apart slightly. She bent over to nibble on the back of his neck and he quivered with anticipation as he felt the familiar warm solidity of a firm erection drift between his upper thighs. Tentatively, she slipped it down inside him, and he sighed in pleasure. 

"Ohhhhhh," she said, nearly a moan. She pulled back and slid in again carefully.

Kalec smiled into the blanket. "You can go faster," he said, slightly muffled, "and harder."

"I'm not sure I can," she replied. "It's so....Oh!" He had thrust himself upon her, and if not for the restricting spell, she would have exploded. He pushed her up and back, rising to his knees beneath her. Her hands gripped his hips and she dove deeper into him, her eyes closed, Khadgar and Kalec merging in her mind's eye as she felt the need for release build within her. 

Kalec reached up and took one of those long hands, bringing it around beneath him, using it to stroke himself. She felt what he wanted and took over, matching the rhythm of her hand to the natural rhythm of her body. He felt his body reaching the level of ecstasy that pleased him most, and released the restricting spell from himself, and then from Kinsale a moment later. As he ejaculated, he could tell through the tide of euphoria that she was too. Her first in a man's body. She moaned, and the deep resonance of it rang through his body and pricked a second wave of orgasm in him. Always, she was a surprise. Perhaps it was the effect of that holy energy...restoring him automatically...he drifted away as they collapsed as one on the bed, still locked intimately together.

"Khadgar..." she whispered. He was there with her, her ecstasy had been his, and his, hers. 

And though Kalec could not be party to the blending of their souls, he had become an integral part of both their hearts. For Kalec to be intimate with one was to be intimate with both. He was realizing the implications of it as the need for sleep relentlessly overtook him. He no longer had one love, he had two. He smiled as he felt a blanket wrap around him, and drifted into slumber.

***

When Kinsale returned to her quarters in Greyfang some hours later, back in her true form, it was to find a trail of blue garments leading from the living chamber into the sleeping chamber, and one large archmage sprawled across the bed, on top of the covers, naked and asleep. She picked up the various bits and draped them across a chair, gently lifting the kitten off the feather cape where it had been sleeping. She opened the wardrobe and tucked the items of clothing that Kalec had given her inside.

Turning to face the snoozing giant, she wondered how he managed to sleep uncovered this late in the year. Winter's Veil was just around the corner, and to her, the room was chilly. She shook her head and smiled at his craziness, and managed to arrange it so that she could pull back the blankets on one side of the bed, push him into it and cover him, then take the other side for herself.

Khadgar stirred slightly as she slid in bed next to him, sighing and turning on his side to pull her close to him. And then he was off again, and soon, so was she. 

***

Kinsale stood in front of the mirror, in the candlelight, fussing with her shirt. She adjusted her trousers again. They fit perfectly and looked good, but she still wasn't used to how they felt on this body. She sighed and ran her fingers through her hair one more time. Why was she so nervous about this? She knew he was as adventurous a person as she'd ever known, and he loved her no matter what, and if this didn't work out, well, it was just an experiment anyway.

But she was still worried he wouldn't like it. She leaned on the bureau and stared at the masculine reinterpretation of her face. Since Kalec had taught her to shapeshift, she'd been stealing private moments here and there to get used to shifting and to adjust to the new form. The features she saw reflected in the glass were becoming familiar to her, and to her, they were rather attractive. Kalec approved too. Would Khadgar agree? They finally had the time where they could find out.

They'd had a nice, private dinner by the fire, and one of the bottles of wine from the cellar reserved for the Leader of the Kirin Tor. Khadgar had been slightly awed that they were allowed to drink wine that had been laid down by Antonidas decades before, but he was the current Leader of the Kirin Tor and therefore had the rights. And it was very good wine. It had turned Kinsale's cheeks a most un-manly pink.

Well. Now was the time to tap into the self-confidence that the fine Dalaran red had lent her. She turned away from the mirror and stepped to the middle of the room, sinking her toes into the plush wendigo fur rug. She faced the closed door and sent him the signal that she was ready, beckoning him to her with her mind.

Khadgar was waiting just outside the door when he received her call. His hand hovered above the door handle. He was enjoying the suspense and anticipation so much, he hesitated just an extra moment. Then he turned the handle and followed the door into the next room.

His eyes went wide as saucers when he saw her transformed body. If he hadn't still been holding on to the door, he may have fallen over. Whatever reaction Kinsale had expected, good or bad, it hadn't been pure shock. She rushed forward to steady him, her stronger hands taking him by the shoulders.

They were much of a height now, and as their eyes met, their faces mere inches apart, Khadgar seemed to relax. Still, Kinsale was concerned, and sat him down on the trunk at the end of their bed. She knelt before him.

"Khadgar...what is it? Are you all right? Do I displease you? Should I change back?" Suddenly she felt close to tears. It was a horrible idea and she never should have suggested it. Somehow she had hurt him and she had no idea how, or what to do about it.

Her deeper voice was lovely, warm and smooth, and it, too, reminded him that he was not seeing who he had thought he'd seen when he first stepped through the door. Khadgar found his voice at last.

"I am sorry to scare you, love. And you are very handsome in this new shape. I quite like it, it was just...not what I had anticipated, I suppose. That and the wine, perhaps, made me dizzy." With a fingertip he traced her now-prominent cheekbone, then down the line of her jaw. When he reached the tip of her chin, he tipped it up, and slid down to join her on the floor, kissing her upturned lips.

Perhaps he shouldn't have had any wine...but then he hadn't expected this confusion, either. To put together his image of his mate with a male version of her was one thing, but when that male version bore an incredibly strong resemblance to someone he had already known and secretly loved long ago, it was not easily parsed. Maybe the wine was actually working in his favor, because the complications hadn't put him off entirely. Or at all, actually. 

Khadgar pushed Kinsale back onto the soft fur of the rug and leaned over her, straddling her, his hands on either side of her square shoulders. He gazed down at her, absorbing the changes in her face. Her eyes were still the same deep sea green ringed with gold, but the rest of her features had grown sharper and stronger, giving her a more heroic countenance. He leaned back a bit and ran his hand down her neck and along her shoulder, then down the center of her chest and across her abdomen. He slipped his hand under the loose linen shirt and caressed the muscular torso, feeling the familiar scars that remained present, no matter the form she took. She shivered at his touch.

"This is no illusion," he said softly. "What did Kalec give you? A potion?"

"He taught me to shapeshift," she answered, her voice resonant even when quiet.

This was answered with a lifted eyebrow. "Druidic or draconic?" he asked.

"I...don't know. There's a difference?" Kinsale thought that the difficult moment--where she had doubted their experiment to be worthwhile--had passed. Now she was wondering again.

"Basically, druidic shapeshifting only lets you use certain skills or abilities connected to a specific shape. It's like an extension of your true self designed for a purpose. Draconic shapeshifting goes further, and changes the shape of your true self, which allows nearly everything to carry over. Except for certain types of dragon magic that no humanoid can replicate." This was the true danger of wine, it made him want to talk. "And you learned it very quickly, too. Ah! Did he take the direct approach? As in, directly to your head? That was how I learned to ride a gryphon."

"Yes, he screwed the spell up into a little ball and then pushed it into my head. Then I suddenly knew how." She had to admit he was still very attractive when he got technical, even at inappropriate times. Her hand was involuntarily drawn to his face, where it stroked the day-old scruff that adorned his jaw.

"Okay, only one more question, I promise, and then we can get back to more interesting pursuits. Do you remember the language he used to cast the spell? Did you recognize it at all?" He grinned when he realized that he'd asked two questions. 

She thought for a moment, then replied, "I didn't recognize it. It was strange, partly hisses."

Khadgar sat fully upright, looking at her in awe. Kinsale propped herself up on her elbows, perplexed at yet another of his reactions. "He taught you draconic shapeshifting. You are indeed a very special paladin. To my knowledge, dragons don't tend to share that sort of thing with mere mortals. I am almost jealous!" He got to his feet and offered her a hand up, which she accepted. When she, too, was on her feet, he didn't let go of her hand, but pulled her close, looking deep into her eyes the whole time. His hands slipped back under her shirt, exploring the terrain of her back. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pulled him into a kiss, one hand rumpling his silver hair.

With his eyes closed, the man he had once dreamed of and the man in front of him now twisted together again in his mind. The kiss turned more passionate, almost forceful. Kinsale responded in kind. She felt powerful again, like she had with Kalec. Khadgar wanted to experience this body too.

They parted, gasping, and Khadgar pulled her shirt off over her head. Pushing her back against the wardrobe, he ran his hands once more, firmly this time, down her muscled torso to her waist, and unfastened her dark green trousers. Slowly he lowered himself to his knees, licking and kissing and teasing his way down Kinsale's chest and abdomen. When he reached the top of her pants, he swiftly pulled them down, reveling in how she shuddered as her rigid penis rubbed against the soft fabric of her undershorts and then burst suddenly into the cooler air of the room.

She remembered suddenly about the time-stop spell Kalec had taught her, and visualizing it carefully, she applied it to herself. Khadgar didn't even notice. He was busy living out a fantasy, on his knees, servile, pleasuring his lover energetically, enthusiastically. Her long, agile fingers buried themselves in his thick silver hair, riding along as he took her into his throat and released her again and again. Before she was too lost in the sensation, she visualized the spell once more and applied it to Khadgar, thinking of the warning Kalec had given her about Khadgar's neglect of such tactics.

Khadgar's hands squeezed her hips and massaged her muscular thighs, pulling her into him and then shoving her back against the wardrobe door. He could feel what it was like--their telepathic link was live and full of sparks--and it drove him to become more passionate, more demanding, until at last he pulled back and looked up into Kinsale's face.

"I'm not going to let that be all we do tonight," she told him. "Kalec taught me more than one spell." She smiled as she lifted him to his feet, then she drew a sharp breath as she saw an image in her mind, as clear as if it was before her, of Khadgar pushed forward over a table, his legs spread. She knew without question that it was his fantasy he was projecting, and it stimulated her too. She kicked her trousers away, reached for some small object that Khadgar didn't quite see, then grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him with her out into the other room. When they got there she yanked it off of him, and tore at the fastening of his trousers, dragging them down over his hips. His erection sprang from within the constricting folds of cloth.

"Take them off," she ordered him. The sensation of power was rising with her growing arousal. She was already throbbing from what he had done to her in the bedroom, and the anticipation of fulfilling this fantasy of his was making her feel even stronger and larger than life. He complied quickly and stood awaiting the next command. 

Khadgar felt an intense thrill as he remembered the first time he'd had this fantasy and how it had shocked him, that time in the newly-built Honor Hold, standing next to his best friend as they went over the maps he'd just finished. Watching him as he hunched over the table, his dark hair falling forward, Khadgar had been suddenly assaulted by the desire to be thrown against the table and ravaged by his comrade. It had been so overwhelming at the time that he'd had to excuse himself. Now, at last, he was going to live it, and he was already rock hard imagining it.

"Turn around," she said, and he turned away from her obediently. She placed a hand between his shoulder blades and one on his belly, and bent him over from the hips. His chest hit the table and his arms splayed out, his fingers just able to grab the edges. Khadgar groaned in pleasure. Kinsale kicked his heels apart so that she had a clear view between his legs. Then she made him wait like that for a minute, not touching him, as she opened up the tiny jar that Kalec had given her. Scooping out a bit of the cream on her finger, she used it to draw a line from front to back up the exposed crevice between his buttocks, leaving the largest amount at the end, ready to do what it was intended to do. Khadgar groaned again, and deliberately ground his pelvis against the tabletop.

Kinsale watched him do it, and felt her excitement grow even more. She planted one strong hand on the back of his neck, pushing it down, and with the other she guided herself into him, gathering speed as she slipped inside. She felt the heat of his body radiate through her as they connected. Then she anchored herself by roughly grabbing his hip, and following his mental imagery as to his desires, she thrust herself deep into him, fast and hard, over and over. He was crying out in ecstasy with every penetration, even as he slammed against the table, the pain making the pleasure even more exquisite. 

She stretched herself across his back, pleased that she could now match Khadgar's reach, and covered his hands with hers. She pulled herself into him, more slowly now, but still with a gravity that resonated through his body every time she completed a stroke. Her chest rubbed against him and he could feel the ripple of her muscles as they stretched and compressed. She was moaning softly in his ear, her smooth baritone golden, like honey. And the sensations she felt with her body echoed through him, each reverberation increasing the intensity of his own rapture until he thought he might break. He may have possessed to the will to control magical forces greater than any other could manage, but this was more than magic, this was the essence of life itself, and he was no match for it.

"Let me come," he groaned. "Let me finish..." 

She too was so ready that she was getting dizzy, not half from feeling the cascades of pleasure that flowed off of her lover, so she released them both, even while maintaining the rhythm of her motion. Bursts of euphoria crashed through her, first his and then her own, and she was unsteady on her feet, holding on to him for support, as he cried out again in exaltation, "Ahhhh.... Ahhhh..... Turalyon...."

As the bliss faded, Khadgar realized he was alone in the room. A chill ran through him as he realized what he'd done. He took the time to clean up the mess they'd made, and to put his shirt and trousers back on, using the mindless activities as a chance to organize his thoughts.

At last he couldn't delay any longer. He stepped through the open doorway into the bedchamber, prepared to accept whatever happened. Kinsale was sitting on the edge of the bed, dressed, staring at some point in space near the floor. Khadgar was surprised to see that she had remained shapeshifted.

He approached her where she sat, still and silent. "Kins," he said softly. "I...I'm sorry. Seeing you this way, and the resemblance...it took me back twenty years in an instant. That was an old fantasy, one I'd buried, trying to forget, and I fell too far into it when it started becoming real." She still did not stir. He decided to say one more thing, and then he'd leave her alone to sort things out. 

"Yes, you remind me of him, in a number of ways. But when I look at you, I know you see things differently. You speak to a deeper place in me than he ever did, ever could. I should have expected the physical resemblance, not let it shock me into behaving rashly. I am truly sorry for hurting you." There was still no reaction, she was still focused on that imaginary point in midair. He cast his eyes down, grieving for the hurt and insult he must have caused by imagining she was her own cousin during a moment of profound intimacy, and turned to let her come to her own terms with the situation.

"Wait," she said, and reached up to take hold of his arm. He stopped and turned back. "You misunderstand my confusion." She looked up at him, her lovely hazel eyes intense and direct. "Turalyon is part of me, part of my life. He's a part I had forgotten, had buried with so much of my childhood because it was too painful to remember. You've brought him back to me, Khadgar."  
  
He sat down beside her, his eyes on the masculine version of her face, and didn't see a trace of Turalyon there. The expressions that animated it were Kinsale's. When she spoke, it was Kinsale. The features bore a passing resemblance to his old friend and one-time object of his desire, but the spirit that gave this body life belonged to someone else entirely. He waited quietly for her to continue.

"When you said that, called me that, I was stunned. Not because you had replaced me with another love, but because it struck me that yes, I wanted to be Turalyon." She stretched her arms out, placing her hands on her knees, and looked down at them. "I haven't told you... I remembered him the other day. I remember his kindness, and how he looked at me and listened to me like I was a real person, even though I was just a small child. I remembered the toy he'd found to comfort me when I was sad that I would never be able to hug my grandfather again." She rubbed her chin and looked back at Khadgar. 

"And you knew him when he was grown, and fine, and honorable. And you loved him too. How could I not want to be like him? I... I had to step away because I was overwhelmed by it. I wanted to _be_ him, for you." Kinsale sighed, and her shoulders sagged slightly. "And for me."

Khadgar put his arm around her and pulled her to his chest. She closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around his waist, the force of her embrace echoing the depth of her love for him. "Kins... I have never known anyone like you. You are constantly unfolding to me, showing me new depths and greater strengths. I love them all, and hope you never doubt my faith in you. As for your cousin, you are like him in all the best ways," he whispered in her ear, "and vastly different in all the best ways. I wouldn't trade you for him in any universe, any timeline."  
  
  
  



End file.
